Neglected?? Yes... Sorry blog...

Dear Blog,

I have to apologise on my neglect on you. I have been rather too busy with life to come in and drop you a visit. I cannot promise when my next visit will be, but i do hope i make a point to come in often. So that you won't feel so neglected and left out of my life.

I have began to think about my life again. Ever since i return from Melbourne, i have been on a roller coaster ride of my life. I realise that i am thinking more often, whenever i'm alone and whenever i see people in my life, leaving me. I suddenly feel so lonely, so empty inside. Guess in the end, we all end up lonely. I think, somehow... We will end up alone.

I know, i usually don't write such emo stuff in my blog, but it's still something i feel that i should get out of my chest. With my work being so stressful and pressing me night and day, i feel like i'm gonna split into two any moment. I'm being pulled at all corners and i have this feeling i'll one day give up everything and just walk. The person whom i thought i could rely on, may not be the one whom i believe so. Maybe one day she will realise my importance... But for now, i really need her to be there for me. Be there for me, to pick me up and carry me on. And i will be there for her, returning back the effort she has put in and more. As i believe, the girl whom chooses me, will be someone whom i will spend the rest of my life with.

Dreams...

My friends always ask me what is my dream car? My dream girl? My dream job? But nobody actually asked me what my dream is? Not even my parents asked me what my dream is in life. So when i watched a episode of Glee, where one of my favourite comedian, Neil Patrick Harris, was a guest star. In that episode, he was out to destroy the dreams of the students when he could not fulfill his own.

That set me out to think... What is my dream? Or what was my dream? I shall start when i was in my junior days...

Then, i was only 11 years old. At a mere age, i knew i was infatuated with technology. Computers, electronics, TV, radio, etc. My dream at age 11 was to be a scientist. My role in this world would be to create new technologies that would benefit mankind, make things better in life for everyone and bring joy to the world. That was 14 years ago...

At age 14, my dreams were more focused. I realized i cannot be part of everything, we can only be good at one thing and average at everything else. I was deep into gaming. Weekends was burnt playing games at home. I spent all i had on gaming, even though it meant i had to go hungry in school. So what i dreamt to be? I wanted to the part of a team to develop a game played by gamers worldwide and be proud that it came from an island called Singapore and not from the US or Japan or Europe. My teacher laughed at me, telling me that there are so many games available in this world, why would i want to be in that. I told her, in five years time, working adults will be paying money to play games. That was 10 years ago...

The day i arrived at 21, i looked back on all i have done. And i came to realize again that i have drifted so far from my dream that i have no way of coming back. So i shifted my dream again. This time, i had more of a practical view in life. I wanted to make my first $1 million. I wanted to return the favour given to me by my parents for the past 20 years. As dreams are meant to be a target in life, i begin by spending close to $200k on my degree overseas. What irony... That was four years ago...

Now... As i watched the show and look back on my life... I've again changed my dream in life. For now, my dreams have led me down the road i've been taking. My love for technology has not changed, i got my Degree in IT and i loved computers, IT gadgets and became a part-time geek. My passion for gaming has not changed as well... I'm more practical as i don't burn weekends gaming. I'll just drool that the games that i cannot play and be satisfied by the ones i have. Lastly, my dream to earn my first $1 million is on the way as i learn about saving, investment and financial control over my finances. It's not fulfilled yet, but it's coming well along the way.

So now what is my dream?? My dream now is to find a loving wife, be a loving and faithful husband, a listening and ever-caring father. That's my next dream... Whether will i ever fulfill this dream, it's really hard to say... I'll just have to see how my future unfolds.

Cause and Effect Theory

I've never believed in any theory as much as "Cause and Effect Theory". It's a very simple theology that tells us mortals that what we do, comes with an effect. If i drink too much water, i'll have to go to the toilet. If i study hard for the exam, i'll pass and score well. It's that simple... But sometimes, they just doesn't apply to everything in life.

From young, i believed in that... I worked hard to get what i want. When i know my goal, i'll work towards it no matter how hard i have to. It is very obvious in the awards, the achievements and the skills i have in life. But past and recent events have shown me that some things are just not that simple. Everything does have it's causes and effects. It just depends on the different causes that comes together. That is very obvious between relationships between any two persons.

Any form of relationship between two living objects have their causes. Parents decided to have children therefore they find themselves waking up in the middle of the night feeding them. Teachers with dreams of changing lives being blockade by the tons of paper work she has to do. Or simply someone who cause an effect on another person to change their mind and perception of herself so as to swindle their hard-earn cash from them.

No matter how you see this world, there is always a cause and effect. Simple theory to understand, yet takes a lifetime to accept. For the cause of death is the effect of life itself. It is up to us to decide what we want, and cause an effect to happen.

400th post! Whoah~~~

Didn't realize that this would be my 400th post, ever since i started this online blogging to keep track of my life. I wonder how are my friends keeping up with my blogging... Not a lot to type since i'm not doing much nowadays, i'm now part of the working people, part of the contributing generation.

This is the period where financial status is an issue. There is no more income or allowance and there is still expenses to pay. I'm in desperate need of a good paying job to plug my expenditure. It's never easy for me to ask for money from my parents, since i told myself never to ask them for money ever since i enlisted to the army. It isn't nice and it should be time where i should start contributing to the family as well. Learning to curb my spending, eating more at home and less outside and spending on the necessary then splurging on the luxuries.

That's about it for now... 400th post and this is all i come up with?!?! I'm beginning to feel real bad for this milestone.

Starting Another Chapter

Life chapters are not easy to start... They begin with you doing something new, something that you might look forward to or not so much. It really depends on how one sees their new chapter unfolding in front of their eyes.

I've just completed my supplementary paper and it felt really good. The paper was really easy... I mean, it is the exact copy as the sample paper given to me last year. I've been studying that for the entire month, imagine my joy when i saw the paper repeat itself. That was one of the funniest and laziest moments in my quest for education excellence. So i literally wrote down everything i memorized and submitted the paper just over one hour. Even the invigilator was shocked... Haha...

The following weekends after the exam was extremely enjoyable. I joined two very lovely ladies, whom i'm friends with for five years, to visit an science and art exhibition. Learnt quite alot in that exhibition and discovered more about the human life. We were joined later by another couple whom was part of the clique that hung out often. We ate and had drinks, chat and laughed. There were so many funny moments, i simply can't type them all. Love those great sessions with them and im sure there will be plenty more ahead.

As the following week begins, i started helping out with my parents' office. Life there isn't as bad as i always think... Maybe when i was there, i didn't have anything constructive to do. So now with some responsibilities and work assigned, it is definitely much more 'enjoyable' then previously. Now i'm just passing each day, doing what i need to do and finding a suitable job for myself. Hoping to start my career soon and save up for all the big ticket items in life.

Lost and Found

The past 25 years of my life, i've always believed that my life is like a roller coaster. There is always up and down but the ride that is all that matters. My Industrial Experience or FYP project in Melbourne was a perfect example.

There is always ups and downs when dealing with the project; not just the project itself but as well as the client. The client gave me problems and issues and always pose me with challenges that the team and I took on whole-heartedly. And with that, i always tell my team that any good thing that happens, a bad thing will happen soon either.

So back to my life... There has been the good and the bad. Personally, i feel that every good that happens, there is bound to be a bad that is coming up somewhere. It's just a imagination how big the bad is gonna be, judging from the previous good. And recently, among all the good that had happened, a loved one past away like a lighted candle in the wind.

It wasn't something i can handle at first, i can't accept the fact. The fact that the first and last time i get to see her was a place so significant. Time and fate didn't allow me to make us meet. Everytime i returned from Melbourne, i would make a point to visit her. But this time, things didn't turn out that way...

I can still remember the words when my Mum broke the news to me over the phone. I can still remember the nurse who showed me the door to the mortuary. I can still remember running, unable to picture what is going on in my mind, but all i want to is to speak to her one last time.

And when i arrived there, all i see is her... Being wrapped up with plastic, all lifeless and cold. The fiery temper, the flame in the heart, the warm glow in the eyes... All gone. I can't accept the fact that that is the last time i'm gonna see her. That she still believes that i'm still in Melbourne. Perhaps my Dad might have told her that i'm back but i doubt she believes him since she does get confused with my brother. I didn't get to make her smile one last time...

The next few days during the wake was not an easy task for me. From staying up and making sure that things are taken care of to controlling my tears and following all the rites and rituals. I'm not a person that knows what to do or follows a religion, but i do know that these are what i should do as a final respect for her. Family and friends came down, they are the ones that supported me during that dark period. I realise, if i just kept to myself, i'll most probably give up on everything.

After so much, i'm so glad i found someone who would stand by me and help me carry on. She gave me the strength, and hope to move on. Without her support, i would have still grovelled up on my bed, still unable to accept the fact. A fact that Time is something we cannot stop for them, but treasure every moment we have with them.

A New Beginning

I've not blogged for quite awhile... Ever since then, there were plenty of ups and downs in my life. There were new friends made and plenty of things seen and done. But i think this chapter of my life has come to an end. Though the ending is not as i predicted, it still has to end.

As i slowly prepare my departure from this country for good, i begin to have this mixed feeling of miss and absence. There are so many things and places i'll miss. But of them all, the friends i've made here would be on the top of things. I'll miss them the most.

It is my friends that made this place a brighter place. Where boring nights turn into small parties, where hitting the clubs seems wilder and even when drinking water seems sweeter. There will be no such thing as my place anymore, it will be my parent's place. There will be a huge change when i open my fridge, there won't be a stockpile of beer but food. Real food. No more chips and biscuits for lunch. Or an occasional beer at 2pm in the day. There will be changes... Big changes to my lifestyle.

As they say, all good things must come to an end. I don't look forward to the end but i will always remember the good times i had here. All the fun times and the crazy times. Melbourne, will always feel like a second home to me. A place where i can always feel welcome. I'll return to this place often, so much so that it might just bankrupt me. By then, i guess i'll just have to figure a way to either decide to stay in Singapore or Melbourne for the rest of my life.

Chapters of Our Lives

As I always say, our lives are like a book, a beginning, middle and end. How do you start and end cannot be changed, but whatever is in the middle, is solely up to you. As i look back on the two years here, i realise this chapter of my life is ending. What happens ahead is unknown. I'm not sure what is my next step... Will i start working? Will i continue to study? Will i join my parents? Will i rot at home and live off my parents? So many possibilities, so many different ways towards the ending.

I don't actually like where i am standing now, where i can't see my near future, possibilities of what is going to happen. I mean, i always plan ahead, looking forward to dates, making sure things are in place. Preparing for the best and worst in life. I know i'll definitely be taking over the family business, but when will that be and how will it happen, i won't know. My path in life is long, but not knowing where and what will happen next, isn't making me feeling easy for now.

Recently i've rejected another job oppurtunity. A career in a Japanese firm, working in Tokyo, one of the most expensive cities in the world and away from friends and family for another extremely long period. Yup... REJECTED! Why? Simple... I begin to miss home, my family members, relatives, god-sis, friends and food. I think i didn't want to be away from home and all my loved ones again for a long period of time again. I've not sure if i've made the correct decision. Whether rejecting this once in a lifetime oppurtunity is the right one...

D-Day -1

It's D-Day -1. Still got some stuff left hanging, but not as urgent. The others are helping out as much as they can. They are covering up all the work left, printing, folding, binding, etc. Now... We are all prepared for the Expo.

Looking back... I really appreciate this team of rag-tag 'experts'. I have one programmer, purely a technical powerhouse. Two girls, one is an overall hardworker, while the other is a pure resourceful worker. My last team member doesn't have much strength but works well with all of them. He is like our support staff, someone to handle the mundane work while we concentrate on the others.

That is my team. My rag-tag team of 'experts'. We started not knowing anything about each other. Barely knew each other, we were pretty much to ourselves. To make things worse, the technical powerhouse and my support staff were Hong Kong nationality while the two girls i have are of Indon background. So they tend to stick to their small duo often. I came in like a solvent, to break apart the duo and gel them up as a team. I have to understand both parties background well such that i do not tread into dangerous waters without knowing it. So... It was my job to gel them up, make decisions and communicate with our supervisors and clients.

After eight months... Eight gruelling months together... I feel that they are a group of friends which i shared a common joy together. Though there are the pain, the stares, the anger... I still think we got through it together. It is not something i alone can enjoy, but the team as well. We shared burdens and happiness, good times and bad. Guess we pull through the rough seas just to see what lies ahead, with always a positive attitude.

I'll miss this rag-tag group of 'experts'. My final year in Melbourne, will be one of my most memorable milestone in my life.

D-Day - 13

Those not familiar with the military term, D-Day - 13 means 13 days till a a significant date. And yes... I have 13 days left till my Expo, which is my FYP's exhibition.

After three months of slog, the past month has been the most crucial and excruciating... Team members have started coding earlier to prepare for the workload that is being thrown at them. They have put in alot of effort and i seriously applaud them for the work they have put in. They have put in so much effort, pain and frustration that i felt that i've not put in enough. And as we are less than two weeks left till the exhibition, the feeling is getting worse. At nights, i can't sleep well thinking that i should have participated more, provided more help or even sacrifice my own personal enjoyment to work on the project.

As we are nearing the dateline, i feel obliged to just take over everything and tell them to take a break. But they don't seem to be taking their foot off the pedal, they are still pushing forward. Ever inching more and more... Though it is a good sign that they are very much into this project as much as me, it makes me feel that i have not pulled my weight. Well... I think i can only find out how they feel about my contribution during the peer evaluation.

And to believe that within four weeks im doing my final exam paper, eight weeks till graduation, possibly ten weeks till i go back home. How i miss home...

My Dad and I

I spoke to my Dad last week. He said i looked haggard and gained weight. I told him because i spent so much money on food and enjoying that's why i gained weight. His rebuttal was that i'm covering what i'm actually suffering. He knows that i'll work late into the nights, strive for excellence while sacrificing sleep and health. He knows that i'll push my limits to the max, and push it even further. And it's all true. He has never pressured me into getting top honours. He never asked me to bring home exam results with top distinctions even once.

'As long as you pass, get promoted to the next level. That is all i ask for...'

After a point in time where i didn't do that, he still believed in me. He understood that i wasted that one year in life. And he told me that wasting one year compared to wasting your entire life is worth it. From that point onwards, i've always studied real hard. Put in effort in everything i did. And i ended up being the top Normal Academic student for my 'O' levels. It is nothing boast about but i knew i pushed myself hard so as to make him proud.

When it was time for my national service, his first advice was telling me to take a step back if i cannot achieve what i want.

'No point "chiong-ing" and end up losing your life.'

Till date, i still remember that sentence. But, i never listen... I pushed hard, i went all the way. At times, i was at the brink of death. But i guess when you had so many brushes wtih death, you are just not that afraid anymore...

As i return back to student life, i decided to push my limits again to the next level. By studying overseas and living outside my comfort zone, i'm going to learn to survive on my own. Cook my own meals, wash my own laundry and plan my own finances.

'If at any point of time, you think that you cannot take it anymore. Just return home.'

I've never thought of returning home without a degree. I've never even thought what would happen if i did. I pushed myself to achieve the grades i want. I'll never return home empty handed.

As we chatted last week, he told me that a degree is not the most important thing in life. What is important is our choices we make in life and what we do in life. Yes, the certificate is important but all it does is gives you a stepping stone to where you want to be.

'There are successful people who doesn't even hold a degree certificate and is currently holding key positions in their organisations.'

My reply was this...

Dad, of the past 24 years... Have i ever listened to you? Have i ever taken your advice and give up? Have i ever just passed and move on with life? You should know how stubborn your son can be. And to return home, after so much time, so much money spent and so much hardship on both physical and emotional, without a degree with my name on it? Dad, if you think i'm gonna return home empty handed, than i think you don't know me well enough.

At that point, my dad just stared at me and smiled.

late_nights@uni.com

After the data limit capped at home, i've decided to spend my late nights working in the 24 hour labs located at the campus. It's only a five minutes walk but i always feel that this place makes you feel more attuned to working.

As of my last post, my late nights started since Wednesday. I've been returning to these labs non-stop, every night. It has becomed my second home. At times, I wanted to bring my heater, toaster and even the microwave oven along as well. As i work late, i tend to get hungry, thirsty and crave for energy-loaded stuff. Much to my friends' surprise, i take sweet stuff when im stressed and need that energy boost. But coffee is still 'no sugar please'. :D

The size of the campus can be easily dwarfed by the sheer size of my previous tertiary education facility. It is very tranquil and quiet too at this 2am in the morning. Only the sound of the howling winds can be heard when you step outside. At times, footsteps can be heard which is followed by a man with a large torch and a guard's uniform. Accessing the labs are only allowed by authorized card holders. I've have to go through three doors, swipe my card through the readers to get access to the labs. Most of the time, I'm the only one working at the labs. Each lab is able to fit 20 students, with enough computers are each student. Such quiet conditions and late hours, i think it puts in me in the ideal position where i can work late, not be disturbed and concentrate on what's important.

Updating...

It's been an entire month since i last blogged. I did some blogging for my FYP unit, but that is totally another issue. That is what i call a professional blogging and not a personal blog. This is where i put in my personal thoughts.

As i dwell away on work and stuff, i realise that i should be working harder than before. It is my final semester anyway. But i kept procrastinating and end up stockpiling my work. Though they have gone through some thought on what is to be done, i still think i should start to have my late nights and dark circles and stress loaded hours. I've stocked up on red bull and energy drinks, all chilled and ready for consumption. Yet i've yet to find the motivation for doing the things i need to do... And my to-do list keeps piling up... I really need someone to keep check of me and motivate me. Time to wake up and smell the flowers!! It is September now!! Another two more months and it's the exams, followed by graduation if i manage to pass them. Arghz...

Has My Princess Arrived??

As my blog always says... I'm just a frog prince waiting for a princess to free me from my misery. As of now, i think the princess has come along. But this frog prince is unsure if she is the one. The one that will free me from my misery. Maybe it's her actions and the way she seems so fragile that affects my judgement.

I'm still unsure... I'm caught in a web of questions which doesn't have a definite answer. I wonder will she finally move on and i miss out on the only princess that will ever be mine or will i take upon this chance see if she is really the one?

I guess i'll just have to move on and see how things will happen...

Dilemma

I realise i always run into dilemma in Australia. Back in Singapore, things were much simpler, choices were much easier to make and things weren't that complicated.

I'm not sure what i'm doing is correct. But i realise that i have two sides inside me. One side where i show myself often, to my friends and my team mates, whether is it my soccer mates or my project mates. The other side which i keep to myself, not showing it often as i do not want to break the relationship i have with anyone. I'm now stuck with lots of issues...

My love life has not been on a smooth journey. Like i told some of my friends before, i do have someone in mind here in Australia. But she always seem to be withholding back the moment we seem to be moving on to the next step. I guess it is her ambition and her life that she wants to keep in control. She wants to complete her degree and work here while i'm gonna finish up mine end of the year and return back to SG to work. Lifestyle here is not my cup of tea.

My friends who have have been making fun of me have been throwing female names that could be related to me. I know it's for fun but i've wondered sometimes is it a clue to their true feelings or is it just for laughs. Sometimes i do really wonder...

There is this girl which asked me one night...

Girl: How would you know if the things a guy do is not gonna be mistaken?

Me: Well, it depends on how you as the female see it then.

Girl: Okie, so how would you determine what is the line?

Me: I dunno... Maybe how he treats you overall?


I'm thinking if i answered her questions correctly. I know how girls think and their usual actions. But i'm sometimes totally lost when it comes to hinting in relationships. Guess i'm too used to going after girls and waiting for a positive or negative reply to understand the receiving part.

Life in Short

Rampant persue of career heights or academic excellence often leaves one lonely in the middle of the night, thinking whether he/she will ever find the right person...

Influenza; the virus to end the human race?

In movies, we love to see the human race fighting for their existence.

In Independence Day, we fought against aliens who are highly advanced and have better credibility of weapons of mass destruction compared to what Iraq has.

In Resident Evil, we let lose a virus that created hordes of zombies that is out to kill off the human race.

In Terminator, robots rise up in the future that are bent on exterminating humans as they deemed us as a threat to our own kind.

In Day After Tomorrow, Mother Nature reacts to what we have done and let loose all kinds of natural disasters. It showed us that a second coming of Ice Age is possible.

Back to real life... We deemed that weapons of mass destruction, such as chemical or nuclear missles, as the fall of mankind. While the rest of the world go against volatile countries that create or test such weapons, we believed that it will end the human race or bring it to the brink of extinction.

Or our beliefs that our existence is changing the climate. Changing the natural order of things. Changing such that it no longers provides what we need. We believe that the melting of the polar caps will inevitably sink islands and change our temperature.

But looking at things now, i realise that those worries are not as immediate as the basic influenza. Look at how it has changed its structure. How it has the ability to infect livestock and pass it on to humans. This is what we do not see in the movies, fighting against such a simple virus. A virus that can kill and infect more people.

So i forsee that we should not be afraid of machines. We should not be afraid of zombies. Neither should we be afraid of nuclear missles flying across the skies. Extinction is now knocking at our doorstep.

Opposites Attract Applies to Food?

I've always love good food. No matter what cuisine, as long as it gives me the smell and taste of something wonderful. For those who doesn't know me enough, i am a foodie. One of my blessings was to be born in Singapore where food choice is a nightmare at times and good food can be obtained at low prices.

I got into loving food because of what it can do to the mind, to the situation and to the event and people you are having it with. It brings people together, sharing and commenting on how it taste, whether does it appeal to your liking. It is one of the most powerful ice-breaking between two people or more. That's why the traditional date program involves dinner at a fine restaurant.

So it came to mind that does cooking or eating food help attract the opposite sex? I've always believed that if one cooks for the opposite sex and earns a placing in their stomach, he/she has an advantage over the other competitors of the heart. It's pretty simple... You invite your date over for dinner, cook up a three course meal and end it with a bottle (or more) of good wine. The host sets the mood and is able to impress his/her date. Perfect plan for a simple date right? But to some people, that seems to be a tall order.

As part of my observation on people and their diet, some have specific and strict diets to follow. Either due to choice or religion, they are not as open to all kinds of foods. Which brings to me this issue... Does your date or partner's difference in diet affect the relationship? A canivore dating a herbivore, what future can they hold? How would they bring up their children? Would their children be omnivores or they would follow either side?

The Mid-Sem Break

It was the mid-semester break last week. Boy... What a week. It started out with a bang and lots of happening stuff, than it just mellowed down to pure assignments and boredom.

Good Friday a.k.a. Mambo Night
How can i pass such an event? Mambo music, clubbing. Girls. Drinking. Girls. I totally enjoyed myself that night and met Lin Jun Jie and Hong Junyang. Bloody faggots are holidaying there in Melbourne and they tell me it is good cause nobody recognise them. I'm like... Yah, its an ang moh country, you expect all of them to listen to your music?!?!

Saturday
Rest and relax from last night's clubbing. Didn't do anything productive at all. Spent the day playing games, listening to music, watching movies, etc. Watched soccer with my friends here. Picked up $50 on the floor. Bet on Man Utd to win and won $10.

Easter Sunday
Woke up late... Did some research and reading. Not really into the mood yet. Had a nice housewarming party which i attended. Eat, drink and played games. Some of them were playing some weird shaking and spining game on the Wii. Looks damn dumb.

Monday
Monday i started more seriously on my assignments. Put more effort into it and completed 15% of the required specs. At night had a dinner party with a friend. Her parents came over and we had Korean cuisine. Played L4D that night till 5am. Tiredness creeping in...

Tuesday
An outing with my housemate to Ikea. Went to buy a couple of pots. Had lunch there as well. Meatballs not as good as SG. After that we had a very nice dinner, Urban Burger joint. Burgers are almost as good as Carl's Jr. The only one which is nearest to the size and taste here in Melbourne. Hungry Jacks(Burger King) and Macdonalds just suck.

Wednesday
Soccer day. We played soccer that day. Helped a friend to fix her mobile broadband connection. I couldn't fix it as it was beyond what i could do... Just that the USB modem didn't give her an IP address. Too bad, so sad. Move along... Went serious mode into my assignments. The beginning of the suffering...

Thursday
Full steam ahead on the assignment. Went to the library to borrow some books. In the end, they didn't help much. I was stuck the entire day and night on the same two questions.

Friday
Almost the same as above except that this time, it was a full day and i didn't went to the library. Still stuck on the same two questions.

Saturday
Continued with my assignments hoping i could find an answer. Still no progress. So went to buy groceries and came back for a BBQ with my friends. They came, i BBQed, we eat, some left, some stayed to play L4D. Saturday officially ended.

Sunday
Same as before, tried everything i could on the assignment. From morning to night. At the final last, i gave up and went to watch a soccer game. Found out that my team fielded a group of unexperienced youngsters, i knew the game was a lost cause. Though i stayed on all the way, it didn't help lighten my mood in any sense. Went home, tried one last time on the assignment. Couldn't get the results. It is official. I gave up on my Dist and HDist. No point wasting time on that. I should have my rest.

So that is how the past nine days zoomed past me. Hopefully i do get good news.

Funny, Tingling Feeling

I don't know why but since last week, i have this weird feeling that something is wrong. I can't make up the feeling but it just feels that somewhere and somehow, something is not right.

Last year, i had the same feeling as well. It's like something bad has happened but i didn't know what was it. Until my brother broke the news that my Uncle, father's elder brother, passed away. He lost his battle to cancer. I still kinda miss him from time to time as he is still family in some sort. Plus his passing is quite a painful experience for my cousins and my aunt. I guess they must have gotten over it. I'm not sure if it's one year exact, but it's close to that.

For now, im still trying my best to find out what's the bad news. I've called back home and found that everyone is doing fine. So i guess family is safe. As for my closest friends, they seemed to be just as good. Though some are in a tiring and stressful position but it's SG, we are built on tiredness and stress. So now im wondering am i feeling this way. Well... Hopefully when i find out, i won't be blown away.