Jokes I Heard Today...

There are 2 jokes that i heard today... Let me type them for everyone. Also... I will do an update tonight. Guess i have rested my blog too much.

1) During the Christmas Season, God wanted to give special presents to those who are nice and good. So he asked one of his angels to go down Earth to check how is the situation. The angel went down and came up, reported to God that 95% of the people on Earth were bad and only the 5% was good. God was shocked. He cannot believe it, so he sent another angel down to confirm this report. Another angel went down and returned with the same results. That angered God, but since its Christmas, he decide to do something. He sent emails to the 5% of the people to tell them to help the 95% to be good, at least for this Christmas. So you know what the email said?? Well, i don't know. I did not receive one, if you do please tell me about it.

2) A farmer was helping a cow to give birth. His son was standing by the side looking very attentive to the actions his father was doing. So the farmer thought, 'Oh god, later he is gonna ask about the birds and bees. Might as well let him finish this show and answer whatever questions later.' So the farmer continued to help the cow and slowly the calf came out.

He cleaned himself up and looked at his son, 'Son, any questions?' The son stared at the calf and said, 'Just one, how fast was the calf going before he hit the cow??'