Im Not Lost, Just Finding Myself

Im sorry if you guys are messaging me over the holidays and stuff, and for those that got calls from my parents. Im actually not in SG. Right now, im sitting in this lousy internet cafe with a super lousy computer. Hey... What do you expect for paying 45 cents per hour of net usage? I guess only the ang mohs sitting around me would have more patience than me. Cut to the point, i am now in Chiang Mai, Thailand. I came here alone, not with a group, not with my family. I spent LNY eve and the first two days alone in this foreign country. Eerything is so cheap, makes you feel like you are spending alot but when its actually very little. Yesterday i spent the night in Laos, i decided to move from here and visit the Golden Triangle. But after the night at Laos, i guess the fear inside me came out. I was trembling with fear. Literally... Alone in that room, only a single lamp on top and screams of women outside the budget hotel. What am i saying... Hotel?!?! More like a tourist prison! I did not sleep the whole night. This morning, i took a bus and came back to Chiang Mai. Bus journey was long, but at least my chances of coming back is more.

I soon realise that this trip is very different from my last backpacking trip. This trip was suppose to escape reality. What reality? The life in Singapore. I can still remember the conversation i had with the guy at the mobile bar(YES!! A mobile bar!!). He is a university graduate and now selling drinks to tourists. As i sat at the counter, i looked at the prices of the drinks. 50 bhat for a shot of Vodka, estimated at S$2.50. I thought a cup or two would help me sleep through. But as i go on, some ang mohs are shocked to see a guy half of their age drinking more than they do. Near 2am, the bartender had earned almost 800 baht from me. Just one night, i drank more than any customer compared. He asked me how i trained myself to drink that much. I said, when im happy i drink, when im sad i drink. In happiness i drink to remember, in sadness i drink to forget. After that, i just put 1000 baht on table and walked off.

If anyone got important things to find me, just email me. I will get back to you soon. If i ever get back...