Tears In Heaven

I changed the layout for the first time. There are still some default things and i have not changed them yet. I will change them slowly. Why the sudden change, someone asked me. My blog almost a year old, of course have to get new clothes for it right? For the Chinese, they belive in wearing new clothes for the new year. Well, im Chinese and i changed my blog layout. Hope the new year would be better for it. Next question was why is it this title? Tears In Heaven is a song that i liked very much since i was a small kid. My Dad introduced me the artiste. This song had a special meaning. It was written for his dead son. His son passed away at a very young age. So as he continues with life, he believes that his son also grows up in heaven. The song describes the agony, the sadness when he leaves this world. It also tells about what will happen when he goes to heaven. Will his son remember him? Will his son know his name? Will his son call him 'Dad' when he see him? It will be very sad if he does not.

So what has that got to do with me? I do not have a son, neither am i going to heaven soon. But i believe that if anyone close to you passes away, would you wish that when you step into heaven they would acknowledge you? Would you want them to remember you? I do. My grandfather passed away for more than 10 years. Till date i still missed him alot. I think of him when i see the gift he gave me. It is still in my room. Everytime i see him, i remember the scene where i see the whole process of his death. I was devasted. Nothing else in that point of my life grabbed me and put me into the harsh reality. Overnight, i just lost one of my most favourite and closest relative. Seeing him falling to his knees with blood everywhere. Held on to him till he fell to the floor, not moving at all. When the paramedics came, he is still not moving. I held on to his hands, tears just flowed down like rain,wishing so much he would touch my face again. Wishing so much he could call my name again. I called out to him. So loudly, so very loudly. But nothing helped, he just slipped away from my hands. There is so much i want to show him, so much i want to tell him. It just ended like this. Now all i wish is that when i leave this place. If i ever go to heaven, i want to find him and give him a big hug. I want to tell him how much i miss him. I want to tell him all the things i have done, all the achievements i have and let him know i had a wonderful life on earth. I will always keep him in my heart and never let him go.

Love you, Grandfather...