Lost and Found

The past 25 years of my life, i've always believed that my life is like a roller coaster. There is always up and down but the ride that is all that matters. My Industrial Experience or FYP project in Melbourne was a perfect example.

There is always ups and downs when dealing with the project; not just the project itself but as well as the client. The client gave me problems and issues and always pose me with challenges that the team and I took on whole-heartedly. And with that, i always tell my team that any good thing that happens, a bad thing will happen soon either.

So back to my life... There has been the good and the bad. Personally, i feel that every good that happens, there is bound to be a bad that is coming up somewhere. It's just a imagination how big the bad is gonna be, judging from the previous good. And recently, among all the good that had happened, a loved one past away like a lighted candle in the wind.

It wasn't something i can handle at first, i can't accept the fact. The fact that the first and last time i get to see her was a place so significant. Time and fate didn't allow me to make us meet. Everytime i returned from Melbourne, i would make a point to visit her. But this time, things didn't turn out that way...

I can still remember the words when my Mum broke the news to me over the phone. I can still remember the nurse who showed me the door to the mortuary. I can still remember running, unable to picture what is going on in my mind, but all i want to is to speak to her one last time.

And when i arrived there, all i see is her... Being wrapped up with plastic, all lifeless and cold. The fiery temper, the flame in the heart, the warm glow in the eyes... All gone. I can't accept the fact that that is the last time i'm gonna see her. That she still believes that i'm still in Melbourne. Perhaps my Dad might have told her that i'm back but i doubt she believes him since she does get confused with my brother. I didn't get to make her smile one last time...

The next few days during the wake was not an easy task for me. From staying up and making sure that things are taken care of to controlling my tears and following all the rites and rituals. I'm not a person that knows what to do or follows a religion, but i do know that these are what i should do as a final respect for her. Family and friends came down, they are the ones that supported me during that dark period. I realise, if i just kept to myself, i'll most probably give up on everything.

After so much, i'm so glad i found someone who would stand by me and help me carry on. She gave me the strength, and hope to move on. Without her support, i would have still grovelled up on my bed, still unable to accept the fact. A fact that Time is something we cannot stop for them, but treasure every moment we have with them.