Whats wrong??

Something wrong with today's post... Typed everything in but it just dissapeared... Wonder where all my data that i typed went to... Anyway... Im too tired to re-type so i just say the important stuff. Massage sucks. SDT exam is over and it sucks. Being alone and feeling alone sucks. Missing her and wanting her to be mine sucks hell alot more...

Miss her much...

Doomsday Arrives

Why things have to go this way? Really lazy to wake up... Almost got the feeling of not waking up at all. Ate breakfast and drank milk, dan watch tv. But no mood to study, feel that SCM is really boring. So played games on my PS2 and left home to meet my classmate. Halfway, he called me and asked me to bring extra calculator. I rushed home and get it since i did not bring mine either. Haha... Then when i went to sch for the 2nd time, he said he went to play pool with other classmates. Boy i feel so play out... But what to do... Since on the way, might as well say, 'Okie, its okie. Go on, i go have lunch and meet later.' Lunch was settled in school, ate this stall that sold real cheap. A huge serving of fried rice, medium portion of fried chicken and bbq chicken and 2 scoops of coleslaw. After lunch was back to more studies... But realise i just felt sleepy... Went to my club, drop my bag, grab a ball and went to shoot some hoops. After that, came back and rest and revise a little... Left for the exam room and did my paper. It was tough, most questions i left it blank. Guess im not gonna make it this time. Went home while it was raining. Had to ask a favour from my brother to bring a brolly for me. Came home, ate dinner. After that, i join my clubmates in a conference. Discussed about the ADD, confirmed this time 120 participants (without my gal!!). Got lots more things to settle, guess i better be preparing for tmr's exam.

Nothing to reflect today. Except the betrayal of a meet with my classmate. I mean what can i say?? He is already on his way there with them. I can't do anythign right? And my policy is to not get angry or small matters... Why waste ur life or time on such minor matters? What have been done is done, nothing can be undone. I do realise that i maybe made use of. Meaning, they think i won't get angry therefore just try me once awhile. Maybe... But if they cross the line, i will be very nasty. Nobody likes a person that is named after a gun that is angry...

Muggin in books...

Either This Or That

A short and long day it was... The air-com crew came this morning at 9am and started work installing the new machine. Hurray for them and hurray for my mom and dad. No more sweaty nights... Im now able to sleep with the blanket on with ease!! Continue studying and reading my notes... But always distracted. Realise in the end i have nothing going into my head to stay. Think tomorrow will be my doomsday. My younger brother came back home with the Ragnarok Online (RO) starter kit. A monthly payment for playing an online game. Sounds kinda lame and such... But since he have paid the kit, might as well ride along the fun. I have a character there too, so might as well enjoy the game again. This time... No lag man, smooth as silk. Went swimming, been a long time since i went into the pool. Swarm a few laps and im panting. Guess im really out of shape. Have to get into shape soon, else who gonna like my body? Ate dinner at home and rested soon after... Really don't feel like studying anymore. Hope i wont forward the module.

Today i realise that you usually have 2 choices, either this or that. And between the 2, 1 is good the other is bad no matter how u think. This is what happens when i choose a good choice, praise myself and thinking things are going my way. If I chose the other, i just regret and seldom do i learn. Unless the after effect is so big that i regret it for life. Somethings are just not the way it seems... You see it this way, other see it the other way. No matter what, the choice i chose will always be correct. That is what i believe. Even though i made a wrong decision, cosoling myself is going to make the thing worse. So... I wonder, the next time when i make a decision. What will i consider and what will i do? Am i growing older or just my thinking is getting more mature...

Digging a grave...

Woes...

Woke up real late today, realised its 12pm when i looked at my phone. Its like i slept the whole day. Man, wasted the morning. Did some revision, but just a little bit as i dun understand what im reading up, like all go in cannot be processed... Haha... Went to school to pick up some documents and proceeded to the my ADD venue, Traders' Hotel. Somewhat grand hotel as it belongs to the Shangrila Group. The ballroom was rather... How should i put this... Long. Its not the kind of ballroom that i assume... It should be like wider... I do not know how to explain this... But the place really is like small... After viewing the place, my clubmates and me sat at a nearby Mac to have dinner... For them is dinner for me is lunch, fancy having lunch at 5-6pm... Haha... Discussed about the stuff and such...

A very sad thing that happened today is my gal wont be coming for the ADD. She cannot confirm with me whether she is able to make it so she told me not to get her ticket. Another sad news is that my year1 are not going for the ADD. I mean, i took like so long to persuade her to go. She just back out like dat. I really feel very pissed. She promised me just to make me stop bugging her, but in the end... She backout like this... I wonder if they organise MY ADD... I will be the no money kind, last minute than i buy. Make them suffer how i suffer now. Make them feel what it is like to beg and persuade people. Like what my VP said, 'No matter how u beg, i wont let you go.' Cannot believe why she said that... All my hopes of dancing with her... Spending a whole night with her... Dashed... Poof!! Gone... She is like super rich... And im like... A normal kid... Will we ever be together?

So happy together...

B.R.O.K.E.

What a long day it was... Went to school when all my classmates were at home studying and revising. Im like in school to hand in the FYP form, dan met with my club seniors to revise with them. Realise that im cash strapped, really tight... Spend too much on eating... Today spent more than 7 bucks just on food. Nothing else... Eat is really an expensive thing. After lunch i went back to study... Half of the time was spent on coaching a friend for her exam. I took the module and passed before. Therefore she consulted me for advice. Helped her quite alot... After all the studying and coaching, i went to my school's macdonald and had a snack there. Met an old classmate there, was preparing for her exam. Hope she pass.

ZSQY, Zhong Se Qing You. That is in mandarin meaning caring for the opposite sex and forgeting about the close friends he/she once had. This is applied to my senior as his gf is a fren of ours. She is very outgoing and open so her circle of frens is very big. But my senior have very good frens, guy frens i mean. So when they are together or they leave the place together we will shout very loud, "ZSQL". Kinda making fun of them, a way to relieve stress too. Friends and love... Which is more important? Friends, been through thick and thin. Know your ways and understand how u will react to different things and events. Love, love you for what you are and what you do. Love you back the same way you love him/her. In the end, its both side of a coin. Either this or that... The coin can only face up on 1 side. It depends on how long the side is faced up and whether when will the coin be tossed again.

Kinda miss her...

For soccer or for love: part2

Woke up late today, long time since i felt this way. Had a very fulfilling sleep, wonder when will the next long sleep come... Skipped a lesson due to the time slot, 2-3pm, expect me to go school for 1 hour lecture... No way... Went Queensway (shopping centre) to study and waited for my clubmates. Settled on the door gift of our ADD. Went over to IKEA to sit in their cafe to discuss about other related stuff to the ADD. Planned our schedule for the coming days... Realised i dun have much time to do anything else... Went back home ASAP, meet with my FYP mates and discussed on the project we are going to do. Took some time to settle down and set on a topic. Was thinking out of 5, excluding me, at least 4 will be there... In the end, only 3 were discussing. Im like quite dissapointed, but this was like the first ever meeting... So i think i set my expectation too high.

I asked my gal if she would be my partner/my date for the coming ADD.. She rejected me at first as her aunt will be celebrating her bday on that day. I was like devastated... In the end, i lost both sides. Had no time to see the soccer and the date was cancelled due to her being unable to make it. But at least she comforted me by saying she maybe able to make it if her aunt celebration were brought forward or push back. Either way, she will be able to join me for ADD. Praying real hard that that will happen...

A blank mind...

For soccer or for love

Keeping it short today, got to go back to studies. Had to go school for lessons, stayed in school for a lesson where the lecturer will go thru answers. Waited for her answers like forever... Went home early to rest and sleep. Did not have a good sleep these few days. Woke up and played a round of soccer with my brother, as usual im the winner. Continued studying and decided to let go of 1 part, couldn't get it in anyway...

Thurs have an exciting match. Its the most hated team the sports club of our school vs SMA (marinetime). But i have a date on thurs evening. Talk about coincidence, match start 5pm... I meeting her at 6pm... Now i have choose between soccer or love. Predicted that would happen, previous relationship had this dilema too... Did not learn my lesson anyway... One more day to think about it.

Sweaty and sticky...

Life is B-E-A-U-tiful

Today was really a slack day. Woke up at 9 plus in the morning, dilly dally around, played some computer game and still have time to prepare for school. Actually today had only 1 hour of lesson. So i went to sch rather late. Helped my classmate pick the important topics that will come out for our ECAD exam. Hope he can get thru the exam and continue his studies with me to the next year. Our academic year that is...

After school things happen rather fast. I spent my time doing nothing and just wasting it like it wasnt important at all. Went with 2, actually 3 because my VP was late, of my clubmates to discusss the possibility of having an embroided card as a door gift for our ADD. But its not feasible... Its too expensive... I mean, four bucks for a card?!?! I must admit its very nice and beautiful, but i need 150 pieces and my budget must be less than 400 bucks. How am i able to meet the manufacturer's price?? Therefore its back to the drawing board for new ideas for our door gift...

Studying is good...

Me, Myself and my fan

Why must this happen?? Why must it be that good things come and bad things will follow later. I got a very nice date with her and she met some of my buddies in club. But when i went home, the air-con was spoilt!!! More sweaty nites and uneasy slp. Fan now is the only way out for me... Now my room always have this sweat smell... Kinda like some gym with sweaty bodybuilders all around. YUCK!!

Exams are coming and im not feeling the pressure... Im like happy go lucky type of feeling. Feels that way all the time ever since im enrolled into SP. Have to buck up alittle... 2 months time im gonna do myFYP, better make it a good one. Not going to treat it like some simple module. Im gonna score at least a B for it.

Im thinkin of her all the time. Guess im stuck in that direction. We have some common traits; eating anything, tok about cars, listen to rock music, mandarin sucks, etc... Maybe that is wat is making me so fond of her... Proposed to send her home tmr but she messaged me that she's not going sch tmr. Maybe i have to wait till next time.

Studying hard hard...

No more sweaty nights!!

Hurah... Hip Hip, Hooray!! My air-con is repaired. Finally, my room is cooled. No more sweaty nites!! Today went school for 2 hours. What a waste of time... Felt like i did not really went school at all. Actually today lunch meet with my deary sister. Too bad she got something on last minute and we cancelled the meet. Oh no... She asked me about a social dance show... Man... I totally forgot about it... But it cost $20. How am i gonna cough up 20?? Also, im not a big fan of dancing. Not really good at enjoying such art event. To be honest, not good at enjoying art at all... Haha...

Did not go clubroom at all. Went once just to bring stuff over, was kinda empty... Like usual... Went home early today, never had this feeling for a long time. Did alot of things, realise i can do so much things with my free time at home. Think i really too relax... I shud relax... For today only, but tmr i will definitely enjoy. I meeting up with her. Hope we have a good time. Too bad there is no love story movie currently playing. Think have to make do with a comedy or other shows...

Dreaming of her...

Being Useful or Being Used??

Woke up late today, last night was very warm with no wind and warm air lingering around. Had to switch on my air-con but... IT SPOILT!!! Brought in a fan but it was useless... Blew warm air at me, not much diff. Tonight will be no different either. Hot and warm... Darn that air-con.

Being useful or being used... My fortune from the start of the year was telling me that i will be used to do things. And usually its the sense that im being used and not useful. I felt it sometimes but always comfort myself by thinking im doing this to help a friend. Helping a friend is all that matters when i do things. Whether am i being used is another thing totally. I sometimes agree with my gal when she says that im being used. Im just too soft or too weak to reject. Think its my personality... Gonna go back to my work soon...

Missed cold nights...

Mono-toned Tuesday

Today was my presenation for my ECAD project. Everything went fine and i demostrated well infront of the lecturer. He had no problems with mine but just advised me on some pointers on how i can improve the site. Understood what he meant and what he was saying.. but whether i wan to improve it is another thing. How i hope i can forget about the project now and concentrate on the coming exam.

Now my ADD got problem. We have to fill at least 15 tables for the ADD to continue. Firstly, what kind of rule is that? I mean... If we are paying for the rental of the ballroom, who are they to command how many tables we are having. I think its one way or the other... Really hope that everything will go fine. My VP is under alot of stress today... She got her presentation for the same project and i think it went awry. Not really good for her. Hope the lord bless her and make her happier...

Heat kills mood...

Winners forever

Today, the match of the lifetime for ICT 03/04. We fought a last soccer match with the SMA. At half-time... We were down 2-0 with SMA scoring 2 nice goals. But after halftime, we fought our way in and scored in 2 more... Even got a penalty to bring us to 3-3 till full time. Why must history repeat itself... This happenened to us when we fought with Sports club. But i must admit, the game was well controlled and the tension was brought down.

All my projects and assignments have been handed up. Im a free man... Well... Not totally free... I STILL GOT EXAMS!!! Man, how i hope this will be soon over. Of cause, passing my exams well is one thing too. That must happen for me to enjoy and promote to the final year of my poly life. Realised that time really passes fast during your teen years. The tears and joys are like so dear to me. I cannot believe that im actually going to the final phase of my poly life. Next stop, the Army. Hope i dont get lousy posts like storeman or cook. Boring jobs for boring pple.

Mind loses focus...

Final Showdown

Today is friday, Good Friday. I have not blogged for 2 days... Wonder if anyone notices it. But im really busy, projects and all. Had to concentrate my energies and alertness to my projects. Guess i got only 1 more day to finish 1 project. Dunno how am i gonna survive. Also, i wonder what grade i will get this time.

Think im gonna make this short today. Still got alot of things waiting for me today.

Pillow feels good...

Half of the race is done...

Begin the day with a bang. Actually i fell on the right side of the bed, what am i saying... There is only 2 sides on my bed (right & bottom), left s against a wall while the top have a headrest or something like dat... It hurt alittle, but it made me really awake. Had coffee and went to school for lessons soon after. Realised that DSTC is getting more and more complicated. And im still stuck way back, guess im gonna work more again. I am working alot... Maybe its still not enough... Help my club's treasurer buy lunch as she had to do duty on the ticketing booth for our ADD. Talked to a Mayday crazy fan which is another club member. Mayday coming to SG, hope im able to see them face to face like last november. Did some ECAD and finished like 50% of the requirements. But it seems like i still have alot undone yet. Maybe its a psychological effect...

Came home rather tired and sleepy. Ate some leftovers and drank a glass of milk and went to sleep. Woke up and ate dinner again. Studied the next move on ECAD project. Hope i get everything done by thursday. Still haven solve my FYP (Final Year Project) grouping. Alot of 'i dont like her' and 'he not very good'. Ususally its the politics. Wonder when will all this end... Tmr gonna talk through with my group. Make a stand on who are choosing and settle it once and for all. Letting it drag will only affect ourselves.

Read reading read(past tense)...

Assignments, Projects & loads of stress...

Its monday again. Didnt like the day. Everything almost went wrong for me. Well not everything. Time passed rather slowly today, cept the time i was at home to relax abit. Boy do the sitcoms go really fast when enjoy them. Did my ECAD proj. Had more ideas on how to advance. Hope my partner knows what im doing. Actually, i dun even know whether am i able to finish. But what the heck, as long i try my best... Everything will turn out fine. My MMWD beginning to become a full picture. Hope i get it done soon so i can fight on for my SDT.

Last minute thing happens all the time in ICTclub. Prepare the year1s for their booth duty and they complain i told them too late. Haizz... They dun understand how stressful i really am. Able to play GB (an online game) everyday. Maybe i complain too much, they still kids rite... Have to remind myself... THEY ARE STILL KIDS!!! Hope they understand the feeling when they take over...

Eyes watering bad...

Weekends!!!

Okie, i admit. I was lazy on saturday nite. I did not blog. But how u expect me to blog when man utd won arsenal and i celebrating like crazy!! Let the beer flow!! Haha... Its been a long while since arsenal have tasted lost. Knew its up to Man Utd to bring them the taste. Well.. Did not much on both days. Went sch to do project. Improved on the layout and such. Think i only completed only 10%. Arghz... I still got like 5 days left!! Saturday ended early due to partying and doing project work. I cut my hair again. Then i met an old fren. Boy she looked worse than i last saw her. Guess might be the work she doing, didnt ask her but kinda embarassed to asked anyway.

Sunday was usual, church and all. Went out with them for lunch then joined my family to do grocery shopping. Bought like 2 truckload of groceries. Guess its normal for customers of Giant (a very large supermarket). Dad bought some clothes while mum went to get a cable converter for her notebook. Did wan to get a portable harddisk... but realised its too exp!! Maybe i get it during the holidays. Now im still doing my project work. How i wonder i would go into attachment soon. That would end all projects and stress. Still waiting for the ADD, guess im kinda like my VP of the ICTclub. Anxious for the event to take place.

Tiredness taking over...

Fri-di-da-di-day!!

That is the way how a radio DJ i listen to everyday in morning pronounce friday. Sure, it hooked me on... The show mostly have a topic that they discussed among themselves and they get listeners to call them or SMS them to join in the discussion. What i like best is that there is always 3 Djs, and the topic will always have 1 side with 2 supporters and 1 side with 1 supporter. Maybe that makes the show more entertaining.

Went to sch late, to be exact... Went to lesson late and got marked absent. Man i hate that late rule. Why can't they just mark as late? At least im there. Bah... In sch, the rules are the kings and us students are mere slaves of the rules. Today was a short day, everything seemed to go fine and smooth. Didnt see my target today. Didnt even msged her even. Think im trying to see whether i do miss her. In fact, i do think of her sometimes. Just that im still not comfortable seeing her this way. Just have to get used to it. I forgot bout one thing, my grades. I list them down, much easier then typing them into sentences.

MMWD Assignment: B
SDT test: 74%
DSTC test: 60%
DVID Assignment: A

From the grades i think i may have to start studying more. Yeah, less play and more work makes vamp an intelligent boy. At least my favourite sport is not taken away from me. Hope that does not affect me... Gonna go back to my assignments. Boy it sucks to be rushing projects. Just have to hang on to another few days and im a free man.

Work demands attention...

Long day, short day

Thursday should be the shortest day of my week. But it turned out to be a long day too. Lessons were rather slack, no mood to study anyway. Slack through the entire day. Brudder wasn't here today, maybe he find it tiring to come to school. But how is he gonna sit for biz exams?? I like dun understand 3 topics and i find it very hard to study biz topics by yourself. Phew... Wonder how those P.h.D. pple study business.... 3 words: So Much CRAP!!

Nothing much happen today. The same old thing that happen every thurs. Help my partner abit on her MMWD project. Man, her design was rather power!! Mine is still in a nursery stage... Guess im gonna drink more coffee, there goes the coffee machine.

Calmness seeks entry...