My Dad and I

I spoke to my Dad last week. He said i looked haggard and gained weight. I told him because i spent so much money on food and enjoying that's why i gained weight. His rebuttal was that i'm covering what i'm actually suffering. He knows that i'll work late into the nights, strive for excellence while sacrificing sleep and health. He knows that i'll push my limits to the max, and push it even further. And it's all true. He has never pressured me into getting top honours. He never asked me to bring home exam results with top distinctions even once.

'As long as you pass, get promoted to the next level. That is all i ask for...'

After a point in time where i didn't do that, he still believed in me. He understood that i wasted that one year in life. And he told me that wasting one year compared to wasting your entire life is worth it. From that point onwards, i've always studied real hard. Put in effort in everything i did. And i ended up being the top Normal Academic student for my 'O' levels. It is nothing boast about but i knew i pushed myself hard so as to make him proud.

When it was time for my national service, his first advice was telling me to take a step back if i cannot achieve what i want.

'No point "chiong-ing" and end up losing your life.'

Till date, i still remember that sentence. But, i never listen... I pushed hard, i went all the way. At times, i was at the brink of death. But i guess when you had so many brushes wtih death, you are just not that afraid anymore...

As i return back to student life, i decided to push my limits again to the next level. By studying overseas and living outside my comfort zone, i'm going to learn to survive on my own. Cook my own meals, wash my own laundry and plan my own finances.

'If at any point of time, you think that you cannot take it anymore. Just return home.'

I've never thought of returning home without a degree. I've never even thought what would happen if i did. I pushed myself to achieve the grades i want. I'll never return home empty handed.

As we chatted last week, he told me that a degree is not the most important thing in life. What is important is our choices we make in life and what we do in life. Yes, the certificate is important but all it does is gives you a stepping stone to where you want to be.

'There are successful people who doesn't even hold a degree certificate and is currently holding key positions in their organisations.'

My reply was this...

Dad, of the past 24 years... Have i ever listened to you? Have i ever taken your advice and give up? Have i ever just passed and move on with life? You should know how stubborn your son can be. And to return home, after so much time, so much money spent and so much hardship on both physical and emotional, without a degree with my name on it? Dad, if you think i'm gonna return home empty handed, than i think you don't know me well enough.

At that point, my dad just stared at me and smiled.

late_nights@uni.com

After the data limit capped at home, i've decided to spend my late nights working in the 24 hour labs located at the campus. It's only a five minutes walk but i always feel that this place makes you feel more attuned to working.

As of my last post, my late nights started since Wednesday. I've been returning to these labs non-stop, every night. It has becomed my second home. At times, I wanted to bring my heater, toaster and even the microwave oven along as well. As i work late, i tend to get hungry, thirsty and crave for energy-loaded stuff. Much to my friends' surprise, i take sweet stuff when im stressed and need that energy boost. But coffee is still 'no sugar please'. :D

The size of the campus can be easily dwarfed by the sheer size of my previous tertiary education facility. It is very tranquil and quiet too at this 2am in the morning. Only the sound of the howling winds can be heard when you step outside. At times, footsteps can be heard which is followed by a man with a large torch and a guard's uniform. Accessing the labs are only allowed by authorized card holders. I've have to go through three doors, swipe my card through the readers to get access to the labs. Most of the time, I'm the only one working at the labs. Each lab is able to fit 20 students, with enough computers are each student. Such quiet conditions and late hours, i think it puts in me in the ideal position where i can work late, not be disturbed and concentrate on what's important.

Updating...

It's been an entire month since i last blogged. I did some blogging for my FYP unit, but that is totally another issue. That is what i call a professional blogging and not a personal blog. This is where i put in my personal thoughts.

As i dwell away on work and stuff, i realise that i should be working harder than before. It is my final semester anyway. But i kept procrastinating and end up stockpiling my work. Though they have gone through some thought on what is to be done, i still think i should start to have my late nights and dark circles and stress loaded hours. I've stocked up on red bull and energy drinks, all chilled and ready for consumption. Yet i've yet to find the motivation for doing the things i need to do... And my to-do list keeps piling up... I really need someone to keep check of me and motivate me. Time to wake up and smell the flowers!! It is September now!! Another two more months and it's the exams, followed by graduation if i manage to pass them. Arghz...